Happy birthday The Edge! For your birthday I (almost) …

Today The Edge is 50. Hello The Edge! Happy Birthday to you. I love you dearly sir. So much so, in fact, that for your birthday I (almost) pre-ordered you the uber deluxe edition of the Achtung Baby reissue that comes out this fall!

Now I know what you’re thinking The Edge, “Gee thanks for almost buying that for me, that’s awful nice, but really, no need. I have most of the content on these 6 CDs and 4 DVDs already! Plus, now that I’m a grown up of 50 (!), I don’t really need the rest of the toys, er I mean, collectibles, in the box (don’t need the fancy box or packaging either). Just because you have a few hundred (or million, whatever) dollars lying around doesn’t mean you have to spend it.”

And I get it The Edge. Really I do. Because, guess what? I feel exactly the same way! Does this mean we’re not uber? Oh boy.

I am certain, The Edge, that you ARE interested in how the previously unreleased tunes included in this reissue sound. I’m interested in that too! So in that case, Disc 5 of the CDs would be very nice to have. But you hope 2011 U2 doesn’t ruin those unreleased “gems” by reworking them too much? What? No, you would never say that. I hope they sound okay. And I’m not going to worry too much about how much you’re reworking them. I mean, I won’t worry if you won’t. (Wait, which one of us is talking right now? Me or you?).

Anyway, also, The Edge, I really do want to hear the songs on that CD # 6. “Baby” Achtung Baby. Early demos of all the tracks? Yes please. And, um, you know the DVDs that come in the uber (and super) deluxe versions? I kind of do want the one with the From The Sky Down documentary on it. I hope that documentary is not just good but great. Because let’s be real, Achtung Baby is an amazing beyond belief album based on its sound alone. But then there are levels that go beyond just musical sounds, beyond all of the different narratives in the lyrics and beyond the ‘wait, what happened to my 80s U2?’ image and really just go to a mindfuck of a level that sets a bar so high it’s really almost not fair to the current you. No offense. So anyway, don’t let that documentary fall short, okay? Okay? Thanks! And if there’s anything else on the DVDs that’s, you know, not on something else we already have, that would be something I also would want.

Oh wait, so does this mean I’m buying this thing now? ($659.61 list price for the uber version on amazon.com?) Gimme a break. What the fark. Etc. Maybe I’ll get the super deluxe version (currently listed for $167 on amazon.com) or the super deluxe torrent when it gets cheaper.

Anyway, just FYI, you are a total rock star, The Edge. Age 50. And a lot of your fans are just as interested in what is next for U2 as they are in what has passed. Seriously. No pressure. Happy birthday. I hope Bono doesn’t eat all of your cake.

xo

PS – Zoo TV Sydney? Again?! REALLY? Gee whiz.

Related:
atu2.com article: Achtung Baby Anniversary Edition: What It Has and What It’s Missing
atu2 forum discussion re: Achtung Baby deluxe box
interference forum thread: is here

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